Ode to Ignoramuses

Their are certain personages in this world for whom there spoken language is merely a tool. An object to be used and discarded at will, with no farther thought for it's form and function. These are the people whom believe "irregardless" is acceptable, despite the implicit double negative. These people may argue that its commonly-used vernacular. It is unfortunate that they're point is valid. "Irregardless" and many of its fantastical cousins (refudiate, it's evil twin) are widely spoken in daily conversation. It is farther unfortunate that such words are often legitimized by the public at large (I am looking at you, American English Dictionary).

Without a doubt, language is meant to grow and evolve. It is intriguing to note that while the majority of humanity attempts to live above a state of nature, our languages continue to exist in one. English is an exquisite example of this fact. Our language borrows and lends to others worldwide. The phrase "OK" is the most widely used and understood phrase on the planet. Change is to be expected and often welcomed. Without evolution, we would not say "Internet" but rather "World Wide Web." Google would still be spelled googol and refer to a number. The growth and development of a language is a beautiful thing to behold at times.

Yet every evolution has its maladapted mutations. Words that have come into being through ignorance and stupidity and should therefore, in keeping with this evolutionary metaphor, fail to survive in the harsh world and die out. With wanton disregard for the beauty of the language they inhabit, they continue to be spoken, by the unlearned and the educated alike. It is enough to deem such words linguistic viruses, parasites that are easy to find but difficult to dispatch.

English is an exquisite language, complex and beautiful. It is eloquent and graceful. It is authoritative and harsh. You can belittle a man's heritage and intelligence and make it sound like a rare French vintage or describe the beauty of a rose and make it sound like a battlefield. It is a language of clarity and ambiguity, discernment and obfuscation, brevity and verbosity. It is contradiction incarnate, from its rules to its vocabulary.

This complexity is often sneered at. Only the super elite would appreciate it, snobs with their noses in the air who attended Ivy Leagues or Oxford. But who can't appreciate the deceptively simple approach Mark Twain takes toward language? Or Hemmingway? Works simply worded, but endowed with sarcasm, irony, humor, and a hundred other things. Emotions every person, pauper poor and super elite alike, can relate to and appreciate. Our language is a powerful tool, immensely powerful.

Doesn't it deserve some respect?

*It should be noted that the errors in the first paragraph are meant for irony and I am fully aware of them.*
*This was another piece I wrote for that same GWW class. The assignment was to write about something that annoyed you.*